So Very Tired

I'm tired of fighting the sadness. I'm tired of blocking out the memories. We went to get a live tree today. The first time I picked out a tree without you. I did better than you would have expected. It is around 7 ft. tall and very nice. It has good form and smells very nice. Maybe you taught me well. One thing I will always think of when it is Christmas is picking out real trees with you. You didn't think I would ever get one again, but now that is a big part of the house decorating for me. There are so many things I don't think you understand about me.