Piggies and Purls

It has been nearly a year.

2011-02-01T13:57:00.003-08:00

It has been nearly a year since I posted last. Maybe because I was slightly busy trying to save a marriage and rework my life. I need to get back to posting. FB doesn't have the history this blog does. What do you think? I'm anxious to see if you ever check this anymore. Glad we surmounted the potholes in the road.

It

2011-02-01T13:57:00.001-08:00

It was a friendly night

2010-03-29T12:53:00.000-07:00

It was a revelation for me and I think in someways for you. It was a step. Not just a baby step. I am praying that we have the wisdom to make the right steps. I know this sounds funny, but I did feel like I had dinner with a friend. FYI that is a good thing.

Snow reminds me

2010-03-20T17:19:00.001-07:00

I wish we were stuck in the snow somewhere and the world would leave us alone. The world is our evil enemy most of the time.

I finally grew up

2010-03-16T22:17:00.000-07:00

It will be hard to explain this to you or anyone. Tonight, I quit being my parent's child and grew up. There wasn't yelling or screaming. Just a conversation where I spoke about what I wanted and about the people I love. I admitted my sins and I informed them of theirs. God was with me. He calmed my soul and my mind to move forward. You also need to be thanked because you forced my hand. I would never had done this without you. I cannot predict the future, but I am thankful that this night happened and you were the primary reason. My love for you.

Thank you for dinner

2010-03-11T20:52:00.000-08:00

I'm really not sure if you even look at this anymore. Thank you for dinner tonight. I'm glad you remembered my birthday. That is special. I know we are both trying. Good night. I will see you in my 40s.

Rob Thomas :: Someday Lyrics

2010-03-02T19:55:00.000-08:00

Rob Thomas :: Someday Lyrics: "You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you wanna do is cry
And maybe someday we'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now that
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow, someday
Now we wait
And try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind
You can run
And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on everything around you
Man it's good to be someone
And maybe someday we'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now that
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow, someday
I don't wanna wait
I just wanna know
I just wanna hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow
'Cuz maybe someday we'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just to feel better now
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow, someday
'Cuz sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over, again
'Cuz sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over, again"

Happy 3rd

2010-03-02T19:49:00.001-08:00

In a few hours it will be the third of March. It will be three years and 9 months since I became your wife. I am now so alone. I am crying for you and how much I miss you. This is the most horrible pain I have ever known and I am scared that I will never know anything else.

Sleep Impossible

2010-02-25T21:26:00.000-08:00

It is a long week and once again I am not sleeping. I was overwhelmed by some of the things that have gone on between us. Some good and some bad. There are hurdles to make on both sides and reestablishing communication. We did progress and that makes me smile. Really right now I don't think you have seen this blog in a long time. Maybe that is a good thing. Maybe technology isn't always our friend. It has been a long time since Party Poker. :) Just writing some random thoughts. At least we are supporting each other in our endeavors. It is late and I am going to try to go to bed. 45-143-353.

Another Tradition

2010-02-16T14:00:00.000-08:00

It is Fat Tuesday all ready. Mardi Gras I guess most would say. We would always go to the casino with what we can call "your friends" because they aren't mine anymore. Or at least 3 or the 4 don't want to be my friend anymore. I wish them no harm nor do I want to be ugly about it. I guess it is the same way you feel about some of my friends. I miss them and our times together. I miss you every night and every day. I miss you when it is a weird holiday like Fat Tuesday. Those were fun and good times.

Lost and Sad

2010-01-27T21:10:00.000-08:00

I've never been in this place before. There is no place that is whole. My body and my heart are torn to different parts of this world. Never peace never secure never completely whole. Where are the arms that are suppossed to hold me and keep me safe? Did I just fantasize that those arms and that man would be different? Why isn't my life different? Why did God make this my path? Will I ever know that answer?

Late

2010-01-25T21:27:00.001-08:00

Always a day late and a dollar short. Such is my life and it seems to be an example of your life. Sadness is a constant wave of emotion over me. Almost deadened on the inside. Deep places that only you can touch are wasting away. They are thirsty for your faint words of love. Looking daily to faith to carry me and guide my decisions. Are you? I believe all things are possible. I am waiting for my life's will to speak to me. Just late night thoughts . . . Not sure they make much rhyme or reason but they flowed out. 143

Trust

2010-01-18T20:53:00.001-08:00

It was nice to hear that you trust me. I do trust you. Sometimes, I don't like you very much but I do love you and I do Trust You. I was thinking that we have had so much adversity in the last 4 years that when it is just you and me trying to accomplish something like we did tonight . . . it goes rather smooth. Isn't that ironic? 143

Advice

2010-01-13T22:10:00.001-08:00

To those they may drop in to see the latest drama. Here is some sound advice. Don't fall in love. ever! It isn't better to love and lost than to never love at all. It is better to be in love until death parts you. Don't put material things and treasure as an important part of anything. It is fun and everyone loves the stuff, but at what cost?
Never leave your soul mate. Because your soul stays with them when you go. Never really find out what crying your eyes out means. It hurts.
I just can't stop the hurt. Never get in a place that you can't stop the hurt.

Friday

2010-01-08T20:32:00.000-08:00

45 143 353. Understand? Know it is true.

This is a song from the Weepies. I dedicate it to 2009.

2010-01-07T13:29:00.000-08:00

Scattered shadows on a wall, you watch the long light fall
Some impressions stay and some will fade
Tattered shoes outside your door, clothes all on the floor
Your life feels like the morning after all year long.

Every day it starts again
You cannot say if you’re happy
You keep trying to be
Try harder, maybe this is not your year.

Movies, TV screens reflect just what you expected
There’s a world of shiny people somewhere else
Out there following their bliss
living easy, getting kissed
while you wonder what else you’re doing wrong

Breathe through it, write a list of desires
Make a toast, make a wish, slash some tires
Paint a heart repeating, beating “don’t give up, don’t give up, don’t give up.”

Snowing

2010-01-03T21:02:00.001-08:00

It is Sunday night and I think the snow is beautiful, but you are not here to share it with. I am sad that we are not together tonight or any night. Tomorrow is a new beginning for you and it is a sad day because the house is being auctioned off. I hope your first day of work goes well. I hope you can stay in the house for a few months until things are better. Miss you so much right now. It hurts.

New Year's Eve

2009-12-31T14:04:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! I guess it has been 4 years since you came to AR. Wow, I never thought we would be in this place. It makes me speechless. If only we could go back and talk to those two people so in love at the Tulsa Airport on New Year's Eve 2005. What would we say? What would not say? 143

It is Monday

2009-12-28T11:15:00.000-08:00

It is Monday and I am at work. We didn't have a pretty conversation last night. I didn't mean to upset you . . . I was upset. (but not with you) I hope you like your hat. It should keep your head warm. It was given to you with the best intentions.

Seven

2009-12-22T20:41:00.001-08:00

Seven is the perfect number and today is day seven of loving. Showing Pure Love for those around me. It isn't easy to not have the snappy comebacks or to not be mad at those that continue to stab me in the back. I guess that is how you just move on and prioritize what is important. It is hard to tell who is readying this. Are you reading this and just not commenting anymore? Merry Christmas.

O Come All Ye Faithful

2009-12-20T23:34:00.000-08:00

The season is about Jesus' birth. How did it evolve to Santa, trees, work parties, tacky lights and fruitcake? This season I have had a horrible time focusing on the "Christmassy" things that usually mean so much to me during December. Some things I have just avoided because it was too painful. However, some clarity has taken place. Pure Love. I'm by no means perfect at it, and I don't know if I will be able to keep it up. But I just want to love.
Isn't that what God did and why we celebrate Christmas? Love us. Send his Son, Jesus, to be a perfect baby just to have him pay for all of our sins. All of our sins. Everyday we sin and that sin has been paid for by our Jesus. There is no love that could be so pure. I'm in awe of just thinking about that right now. Maybe the lack of money, gifts, and other riff raff has left me to focus on Christ.
Pure Love Day 5 Merry Christmas.

Almost Sunday

2009-12-19T21:40:00.000-08:00

It was Day 4 of Pure Love and it didn't really go as planned. I have felt awful all day and a depressed mood. Dim is my light today.
I just heard Joy to the World. Joy is such a small word and yet so hard to obtain and keep. Joy, Joy, Joy.

Sweet

2009-12-17T20:52:00.000-08:00

The red box with sweet oozy chocolate covered cherries say Christmas to so many. Everyone reaches for the Queen Anne box. Those were special Dark Chocolate Peppermint and there were only three in the box that were uncracked. Pure Love day 2. Merry Christmas.

Today is Thursday

2009-12-16T20:41:00.000-08:00

The lights of the Plaza are calling me. I am going to go see them on Saturday night. It will be a long drive alone but I need to take that in and come to terms with what that place means to me. Hopefully there will peace found and thoughts for the future constructed. If I live to be 100, I will never forget the carriage ride and the lights. Day 1 of Pure Love and Merry Christmas.

It is Sunday night

2009-12-13T21:03:00.000-08:00

I can't find you anywhere. It scares me not knowing if you are okay. Are you okay? Please be okay.

Movies that make me think of you

2009-12-07T20:13:00.000-08:00

I never watched this entire movie until I watched it with you. It is very hard to decorate the tree without you. I am not crying all the time anymore, but I am having a hard time with the material things associated with the holidays of the last 4 years. This song in White Christmas was my favorite.

Bing Crosby - Snow (from white christmas) Lyrics Album:

SnowIt won't be long before we'll all be there with snow
SnowI want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow
SnowI long to clear a path and lift a spade of snow
SnowOh, to see a great big man entirely made of snow
Where it's snowing All winter through
That's where I want to be Snowball throwing
That's what I'll do
How I'm longing to ski
Through the snow-oh-oh-oh-oh
Those glist'ning houses that seem to be built of snow
SnowOh, to see a mountain covered with a quilt of snow
What is Christmas with no snow
No white Christmas with no snow
SnowI'll soon be there with snow
I'll wash my hair with snow
And with a spade of snow
I'll build a man that's made of snow
I'd love to stay up with you but I recommend a little shuteye
Go to sleep And dream Of snow

So Very Tired

2009-12-06T21:51:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of fighting the sadness. I'm tired of blocking out the memories. We went to get a live tree today. The first time I picked out a tree without you. I did better than you would have expected. It is around 7 ft. tall and very nice. It has good form and smells very nice. Maybe you taught me well. One thing I will always think of when it is Christmas is picking out real trees with you. You didn't think I would ever get one again, but now that is a big part of the house decorating for me. There are so many things I don't think you understand about me.

The first Holiday

2009-11-26T22:30:00.000-08:00

I always thought we did Thanksgiving with a bang so to speak. This is our first Turkey Day apart. It didn't have to be this way. Asking why doesn't seem to help. I'm not sure if you will ever even check this. A year ago were we these people and just didn't know it? I thought of you today that is all I know.

Nickel Creek Song

2009-11-13T09:31:00.001-08:00

Google Nickel Creek and listen to this.

"When You Come Back Down"

You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own
Before it slips away
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

I'll keep lookin' up, awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire
I'll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire

And I'll be on the other end, To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly, If you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll catch you when you fall

[Bridge:]
Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings

When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare

I'll still be there
When you come back down
Take every chance you dare,
I'll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

Response to those who started the hurt.

2009-10-15T19:48:00.000-07:00

Mom and Dad,

I appreciate your call and your email, but it is a little too late. What “betterment” would you like to offer me? Shunning me, Lying to me about Jacob, treating people I love like shit, teaching my children to lie and sneak around on me, working with my ex-husband to hurt my custody arrangement? I guess I am just used to being without your “betterment” at this point. I am rebuilding the relationship with my children that you bribed them to destroy. Unlike you, I stand by my kids and will forever.

I don’t work or jump on your timeline anymore. Tony and I asked you to meet with us and start a relationship earlier this year and you refused. Dad even stated to me this summer that he had no room for forgiveness and didn’t believe in it. Glad 71 years of sitting in the First Baptist Church of Harrison taught you both so much about being a Christian.

So you might have to wait for my timeline to heal my hurts. They are deep and fresh. I am 39, educated, employed and one hell of a good person. Would have been nice if you had wanted this healing and betterment three plus years ago. Please review this while you are on your knees praying for me over your 10 pound King James. You both are the epitome of good Sunday Christians. Hope you both like the Heat.

I haven't heard this song in months but it keeps playing in my head

2009-10-12T20:21:00.001-07:00

Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal Jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who's there
Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer
Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess
I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver
Reach out touch faith

Life is not a movie

2009-10-12T09:36:00.000-07:00

I wanted so many things. He wanted so many things. Our things match in some areas and not in others. I'm sad. So very sad. I want to be in his arms and click my heels together and we are somewhere else. Not Kansas, but maybe Hawaii or Italy. Instead we are stuck here in Hell on Earth. In the movie, there would be a nice ending that wraps up all the details and everyone would applaud at the grandeur of our love. That isn't even an option for either one of us. It hurts. Love stinks. yeah yeah.

Today is different

2009-10-08T06:46:00.000-07:00

Today, I feel somewhat better. Maybe I am just awake after a good night of sleep. I'm still sad and so much more that there are no words to describe, but my mind is clearer today. It could change in 30 min. and it probably will but right now it is clearer.

Faith is a tricky monster

2009-10-04T20:11:00.000-07:00

The only thing that keeps me putting one foot in front of the other is that I do believe that only God can heal this. He may use me or my love or a friend or a stranger or something I haven't even heard of. My mind races with feelings and emotions. I go through a large range of feelings every hour.

This was played on June 6, 2006.
(When I first saw you, I saw love. And the first time you touched me, I felt love. And afterall this time, you're still the one I love.) Looks like we made itLook how far we've come my babyWe mighta took the long wayWe knew we'd get there someday They said, "I bet they'll never make it"But just look at us holding onWe're still together still going strong (You're still the one)You're still the one I run toThe one that I belong toYou're still the one I want for life(You're still the one)You're still the one that I loveThe only one I dream ofYou're still the one I kiss good night Ain't nothin' betterWe beat the odds togetherI'm glad we didn't listenLook at what we would be missin' They said, "I bet they'll never make it"But just look at us holding onWe're still together still going strong (You're still the one)You're still the one I run toThe one that I belong toYou're still the one I want for life(You're still the one)You're still the one that I loveThe only one I dream ofYou're still the one I kiss good night (You're still the one)You're still the one I run toThe one that I belong toYou're still the one I want for life(You're still the one)You're still the one that I loveThe only one I dream ofYou're still the one I kiss good nightI'm so glad we've made itLook how far we've come, my baby.

Psalm 34:18

2009-10-03T21:04:00.001-07:00

That is all I can say. I'm reading two books right now. It helps to read.

Just a Small Town Girl Living in a Lonely World

2009-10-01T14:38:00.000-07:00

It is all I can do not to go to him today. I want to see him. I want to hold him. I want to be with him. I want to make love with him. I want our lives to be different. They are not. The world controls us. We didn't control ourselves.

I hurt in a way that I have never hurt. I literally ache. My mind doesn't even think in coherent thoughts.

The modern day Job

2009-09-29T21:16:00.000-07:00

I am a failure in everything I touch. That is all I feel. Maybe I did do something so hideous in my life that God is punishing me and I will never recover. I don't feel God in my life anymore. I don't know if I even know him anymore. What I thought was my personal relationship with him is so different than what I know now.
God, I am lost. Find me! Save me from this pain!!! Please!!! I can't handle this anymore. I cannot go on with this attached to me. I need a sign that everything is going to be okay. What is your will? I have heard that I should look for it but I am not looking in the right place or I just don't know how.
Please help me God. I don't know what to do.

There were Bikes and There were my Blues

2009-09-27T20:00:00.000-07:00

I had a really hard time coping this weekend with my emotions. Every where there were bikes with loud pipes and women riding on the back. It was beautiful weather and I wasn't a part of it at all. My love was on his bike. The bike that we bought and the first bike I ever rode. He was the man that taught me to love the motorcycle. He is the only man I will ever ride with. The only man that could make me feel safe. As I drove out of town Friday afternoon, I looked at every bike and wished it was him chasing me. Looking for me to come with him and ride away forever. That, of course, didn't happen. Some of you might remember Days of Our Lives in the 1980s and Bo chased Hope on a motorcycle and saved her while "I need a Hero" was piped in over the TV. It was so romantic and powerful. HHHMMMMM. I guess it was a Soap Opera and not real life. Real life has pain and hurt and hopelessness.
I'm ready for the bikes to leave. However, I know that the sound of loud pipes will always make me heart ache.

I have reached a breaking point

2009-09-25T08:53:00.000-07:00

I will not be pushed around by anyone anymore. I am tired of my wishes being second fiddle to the men of my past and men of my present. Everyone has taken for granted that I am easily swayed. No more my friends. My feet are in concrete. My ideas and feelings are worth as much as anyone elses. I love my kids, I love Anthony, but right now I have to learn to love and trust myself more than anything. I hate this time in my life more than anything.

Today is his Birthday

2009-09-23T11:20:00.000-07:00

He is 47 years old today. His life began with one woman and since that time women have moved in and out of his life. I may be another one of those women. I believe his mark on me and my mark on him is deep. Life long and deep are those scars --well earned and filled with good memories. Your birthday will always be a national holiday with me. I love you, WCA.

The things he gave me

2009-09-22T14:14:00.000-07:00

My life has been forever touched by this man. He taught me so much.
To believe in Angels.
Passion.
Love riding a motorcycle.
How to sit in bed lying down.
Drinking coffee all day.
Sourdough bread with everything.
Praying before meals.
Faith.
How to really hold someone.
Play poker.
Enjoy the quiet.
How to keep baseball scores.
How to stop an anxiety attack.
Be Prepared.
Nascar.
Road Trips for days.
Real Christmas trees.
So much.

Tomorrow is his birthday. His favorite day.

Alone again

2009-09-22T13:17:00.000-07:00

The fact keeps getting clearer that I'm going to be alone. It hurts. The fact is Anthony is leaving me and I'm unhappy. I'm sad. I will never be the same.

Watching Dirty Dancing

2009-09-20T20:12:00.000-07:00

I realize watching this movie. That Patrick Swayze and Anthony have the same neck and posture. I was in love with Anthony by his posture from the beginning. His neck is so sexy and it was wonderful to have him dance with me. I wanted to be his Baby and be saved from the corner.

Sunday used to be my favorite day

2009-09-20T19:11:00.000-07:00

Why we fight? I don't know. I think it is because I won't give in. He won't give in. It is just pain and hurt and fear wrapped into one. Today I wanted to go to the house and sleep under the roof with him. Different rooms but same roof. Just to be at that place would have been nice. It wasn't meant to be tonight. I love you Anthony. I am in Love with you but our love is just too complicated. God didn't want our love to be. I don't understand I will never understand.

First Razorback Game without him

2009-09-19T22:01:00.001-07:00

It was my first Pig game without my husband. I wasn't there, he wasn't there and we weren't together. All things were strange. I needed to just watch the game and sit. I did that. I just sat and watched the game and drank red beer. It was good to be emotional about something else. But I was empty on the inside and I teared up a few times when something and I wanted to discuss it with my football fan husband. He called me after the game so I think he was having some of the same feelings. Then a "friend" called and chewed me out for not coming to some girl night party that I wasn't in the mood for. I didn't appreciate it at all. Then, God opened another window and a friend from the past chatted with me on FB. She made me smile. Still I am sad that the game went on and my marriage doesn't.

Facing the friends

2009-09-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

It is not easy to end a relationship, but it is even worse to go through the job of telling friends. Or worse, they have already heard. When you know that people know and they don't know what to say. Or they do know what to say, but you don't want to hear it. I love my friends and I know they love me, but it is just so hard to hear them say things and know it is the truth. Hearing the verbal notification that your marriage is over just makes it so real. I survived. That is my option.

I have to make it through this cookout

2009-09-17T14:27:00.000-07:00

I have a two hour work cookout. I have to smile and act like I'm not dead on the inside. Like a care about this job or anything right now. I want to go to my house and have six seconds of hugging and kissing and then just sitting and holding each other. Where did that go? He said that he is focusing on himself and I can't do that. I don't know how to stop focusing on him. I don't.

I can't make the crazy stop.

2009-09-17T12:15:00.000-07:00

I keep trying to convince my Anthony that we are both to blame. He will never accept that. I just want to end this with some love attached. I want him to always be there for me and I don't want to be alone. Still this is the only place I can vent.

The only place to scream!

2009-09-17T11:01:00.000-07:00

My true love is over. Anthony and I have split up and all is left is the civilities. We just couldn't overcome the pressure of my parents, his parents, ex husbands, ex girlfriends, stepkids, lack of financial security. So much. I have to get this out and this is the only place. I am sick inside and out. I don't think anyone of my friends reads this anymore so I'm pretty safe to let it all out.

The mess left behind - Ice Storm 2009

2009-02-04T12:41:00.000-08:00

It has been a week here in Northwest Arkansas and the storm is still fresh in our minds. The worst ice storm on record. There are hundreds of bucket trucks and teams from all over the country trying to restore power to our area. I met with a man today that is still in a hotel room because he has been told he will not have power for at least one more week. Some of our friends are still hanging out at our house because they are also powerless. So many trees, yards, roofs, fridges, freezers, and groceries have been destroyed and just in a matter of 48 hours. I have seen tornado damage that was in an area, but this is everywhere. Trees are broken as far as the eye can see and telephone poles are down everywhere. It seriously looks like a different place.

Not to mention, I haven't seen anyone that isn't out of sorts emotionally from this storm. Drained beyond belief. However, we are a tough group of rednecks so I'm sure we will weather this storm. Take care of yourselves and each other.

The Ice Storm of 2009

2009-01-29T13:15:00.000-08:00

Wait five minutes in Arkansas and the weather will change. I love the four seasons, but the Hubby is not as crazy about all the different extremes that we experience. It has been a wild ride the last 3 plus days, but we have been so blessed to have warmth, food and friends. Here are some of the pictures for those of you outside Northwest Arkansas.

Knitting Update

2009-01-22T12:07:00.000-08:00

Okay, some of these were Christmas presents and some were recent baby gifts and I need to do a work in progress update but here are a few pictures to prove I am still knitting and learning new things.

A New President

2009-01-20T13:41:00.000-08:00

I will annoy my conservative friends with this post, but that never stopped me.

Hopefully, God will guide our President and country in the future toward the changes that need to happen.

With that said . . . Bye Bye W.

Thanks for leaving us with a trillion dollar deficit,

the high unemployment rate,

thousands of our service men and women dead, maimed or injured for life,

a foreclosure of homes increase of 80%,

destroying our strong foreign policy,

not capturing Osama,

doing such a poor job of helping the gulf coast after Katrina,

lying to all the people about how you were so Pro-Life and were going to change America. I could go on for days, but I won't because today is a bright new day.

Now I will be just as tough on the new admin. Trust me. I am not a blind limousine liberal. (Remember, I still eat SPAM) I will support those that make moves in the "right" and "left" direction, but we must move and the past year has hurt all of us.

I prayed every night for W. and the post admin. (even when I didn't want to) and I encourage all of you to do the same for Mr. Obama and his cabinet as he takes America's lead post.

2009 Comments

2009-01-12T12:46:00.000-08:00

I want comments! I let it slide in 2008, but now I must speak out. I want comments. (please take a moment to visualize me stomping my foot)

That is done. It is very simple. Just click on the comments section at the bottom of the post. The blog format has been adjusted and you DO NOT have to have a google account to leave a message. I'm just tired of hearing from you guys about the blog and never seeing the comments. So get with the program people. If you don't think I'm talking to you then let me get your attention:

If you are old family in California, then I'm talking to you.
If you are new found family, then I'm talking to you.
If I know you from the Valley, then I'm talking to you.
If you are our Catholic friends, then I'm talking to you.
If you are my WalMart friends, then I'm talking to you.
If you work with me, then I'm talking to you.
If I consider you my weirdest friend, then I'm talking to you.
If I have sat in the rain with you at a soccer tournament or baseball tournament, then I'm talking to you.
If you knit with me, then I am talking to you.
If you dated my husband before he was my husband, then I'm talking to you.
If you are a Razorback fan, I am talking too you!

Whew, now I have that off my chest. Thank goodness, my list-stopping medication just came in the mail, so this list must come to an end.

Merry Christmas to All

2008-12-23T17:33:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite picture of the kiddos and the pooch. She is being bribed by a piece of bread over the camera.

The entire family was goofing around while I try to take a Christmas picture.

We look like a bad Country Western Country Album Cover, or maybe a Contemporary Christian Christmas. I think I will name this "Stand by your Italian, Portuguese, Mexican, Native American, Polish Husband."

We are having the best week ever. I am off from work and the kids and I are just enjoying the small pleasures of Christmas. Gingerbread Houses, Cookies, Carols, Games and Puzzles are oozing all over the house and we are having such a good time as a family. The very cold winter hasn't dampened our spirits, and we are hoping for a warmer Christmas instead of a White Christmas. I wanted to share some of our happy holiday pictures. We wish all of you a Merry Christmas and may you be blessed in 2009.

Christmas is in Full Swing

2008-12-17T09:13:00.000-08:00

You know Christmas is upon you, when you have band concerts to attend early on a Saturday morning. #1 Daughter is a clarinet player and she loves her band teacher. I really appreciate good teachers, and Mrs. Thomas is one of those teachers. However, can't we have band concerts in the p.m.? Well, they let me take my coffee in with me, so I survived. Here are few pictures of daughter playing. You can easily pick her out because she is the only one in the band that wore a Santa hat. They had said the kids could were them and she took them up on it.

Turkey Roaster Success

2008-12-06T18:19:00.001-08:00

Turkey Roaster Success
Originally uploaded by Four Piggy Fans

I know it has been a week since Thanksgiving, but I've been a little busy. I just wanted everyone to see my pretty bird. My early Christmas gift of a 22 quart Roaster was the main reason. I can honestly say that it was a wonderful day full of family and friends. The food was just the topping to such a fun day. I was so proud of the kids and all the help they gave me cooking the meal. I'll try to add a few other pictures of the day.

Rodent Killing Competition 2008 -- Hobbes 4 - Princess 1

2008-11-18T13:04:00.000-08:00

Our friends have a Killer Dog. Hobbes is a one of a kind dog and he is an accomplished Mouse Hunter. Well, our Princess is nowhere near the killer Hobbes has proven to be, but we will attribute this large field mouse kill in our back yard to Princess just to save face. Hubby has been putting poisen under our fence to try to cut down on the cold weather mouse invasion 2008. So this deceased creature was found under my make-shift redneck herb garden. It really looks like a cross of a rat, mouse, ground hog and guinea pig. So, of course, my Arkansas raising got the best of me, and I had to take a picture. Just so all of you know, we did not skin it or eat any part of this. My Californian city-boy husband picked it up with a newpaper sack and carted it to the garage trash.

Finally it happened to our Soccer Team

2008-11-12T14:42:00.001-08:00

DSCN2074
Originally uploaded by Four Piggy Fans

I have to brag a little about my dear #1 daughter and her Soccer Team. They have had years of drama. And even better years of losing and not winning when they should. Not to mention different clubs, crazy coaches, insane parents, and the backstabbing. Oh if only I could write a book just about soccer backstabbing and lying. Since only one soccer parent (I trust) has this blog address, I will go forth with this post. Anyway we were the runner up. I am so proud of the girls for getting past all the drama and coming together as a team. Yeah Strikers Blue!!!

Halloween Pictures

2008-11-07T14:01:00.001-08:00

It was a beautiful day and my two bananas were full of candy before long. Here is just a bunch of pictures of the kiddos and some friends. I'll try to blog more later. I have some actual finished knitting to share and, of course, some thoughts on the election.

Democrats Rule and Republicans Drool

2008-10-03T12:56:00.001-07:00

Okay, Thanks to my dear friend Becky I have my brand new

Democratic Fitz and Floyd Donkey.
Here she is proudly displayed at my desk.

Here is her close-up on my desk.

Isn't she beautiful? I love her and cherish her and want to look at her all the time. She is named Alice. After Alice Paul. If you don't know, then google.

Please notice that there is a new feature on the blog. The Electoral Vote Meter. It updates every day. So far, I like the outcome. I'm so over McCain and his Alaskan.

My First Poker Run

2008-10-02T08:04:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday, Hubby and I rode in "our" first poker run with Bikes Blues and BBQ. We had a great time and the weather was beautiful. We left the house around 7:00 am and didn't return until around 4:00 pm. There were around 800 people entered and it was great to be on the rode with almost exclusivly motorcycles. Our friends, Carol, Rocky, Austin, Kendra and a man that asked to ride with us from Oklahoma. His name was Harold and he was very nice. We went around 225 miles and that isn't much for some, but alot for me. It took us through many wonderful parts of Northwest Arkansas including Eureka. Enjoy the pictures that I am going to add. I think they tell the best story. PS. Yes, I am now on a diet!

A Personal Letter to my Father

2008-09-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that I started this blog to vent when no one else would listen, brag when everyone had heard enough about the kids or cry when I was too proud to let my feelings out in public. This is the vessel that helps me release those many and varied emotions. If you can't handle it well tune in again a different day. This is the letter that I wish I had the spine to write and mail to my Dad for his birthday. Today is his 71st.

Dear Dad,

I need to reach out to you and share that I am truly sad with the state of our relationship. In my wildest dreams, I would never have imagined that I would go a week much less months without speaking to or seeing you. There are no words for the level of pain that I feel everyday without you in my life. It really didn't have to be this way. It isn't what I wanted.

After a year of reflection on my emotions, relationships, fears, childhood, anger and pains; I know that we aren't the only family that experiences these types of problems. And most importantly to me, I know that I am not the only one at fault. Tony isn't the only one at fault and you and mom aren't the only ones at fault. We all have fault. However, I am the only one that wants to get passed it and move on.

I have moved on, Dad. If only you could see that I am a great Mother, Wife, Friend and Daughter. The divorce changed nothing in those areas. Why can't you see me for who I am? Why can't you look in the mirror and know that I am the woman that you raised me to be: Smart, Passionate, Protective, Faithful, Spiritual, and Tough.

I am your daughter. I am your flesh and blood -- you always said that meant something. You always said that you would be behind me 110% no matter what happened. That you trusted me and that we of the same mind. WHY DID THE DIVORCE CHANGE THAT? And why did you take his side? And why do you hate the man that I do love and loves me back?

When will I wake up from this nightmare and have my father back? I am preparing myself that the answer to that may be never. Daddy, please don't let that be the case. Please remember the one member of the family that was always there for you on the farm, at the plant, when the business needed help, that worked so very hard to make you proud. Please Dad please stop listening to Mom and Alisa and remember that I am your daughter and that I love you. I want you back in my life and I want it to be respectful of my family. Will you ever be able to be that person? Will it be this year? Your 71st year? I pray one day this year will be that day.

You will be in my thoughts all day and I hope that I cross your mind in a loving way.

Your eldest daughter.

46 Years and Still a Kid

2008-09-24T18:42:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday
Originally uploaded by Four Piggy Fans

Hubby celebrated his Birthday Party all weekend long and it came to an end with the big homemade Birthday dinner. The traditional linguine with clam sauce. He loves it and I'm damn good at making it. The kids were a huge help and I love cooking with them. I love this picture because they all look like kids. So much for the sophisticated family. I think that ship has sailed. At least we were all happy and healthy and that is the greatest blessing.

Of course there were gifts, because he would never speak to us if there were no gifts. Look at the additional pictures to see all the Razorback stuff and movies that he got for his birthday.

A new Razorback Watch, Razorback coffee mug and a new Razorback pen from the kids. We will make him love the hogs or else!!!

The Bogey and Bacall DVD set from Me!

I bought these two cakes at the Mart. When I unpacked them I noticed the different takes on the hog snout. The one on the left looks like a red rat. Someone needs to figure out that hogs are not mice. They at least tasted good. Yummy Lard Icing.

Where or Where Did My Knitting Go? Oh Where O'Where Could It Be?

2008-09-17T08:37:00.000-07:00

I haven't touched my knitting in a solid month. It is missing me desperately, and vice-versa. The funny or bizarre side of this is that I am still reading knitting blogs, looking for patterns and watching Knitty Gritty on HGTV. What is wrong with me. Just pick up the needles and knit. The good Lord knows that I need the stress balancer that comes from knitting. For some reason, I just can't make myself do it!

For those of you that aren't aware of the latest drama, I'm going to talk about something on the blog today that I need to get out of my system. Some of you may know that my hubby, Anthony, found his birth mother and sister on August 5th. This has been a blessing and a curse. I think for them and us. It isn't like the movies or soap operas. There isn't a last scene that ties up all the loose ends in the last 5 minutes of the movie.

It just doesn't work that way.

There are deep emotional scars on both sides. There is a need to be accepted on both sides and there is a need for approval. Hours and hours of phone calls, tears, laughs and email picture exchanging has taken place. It has been a huge emotional experience.

I think we are getting to know them, but where do they fit into our lives? Where do we fit into theirs? It is almost too much in a short time for everyone involved.
Anthony has done well at times and then not so well at others. He and his birth mother were seperated around age 4. Then he was adopted around 5ish.

We hope to spend time with them in the future and I think the Sister and I could really be dangerous together. She is a democrat and has an adventerous spirit like me. So keep all of us in your thougts as we navigate this uncharted territory.

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar - Thank you Helen!

2008-09-04T07:12:00.000-07:00

Don't freak out. Two blog posts in a week. I had to return to the blog to flesh out my thoughts on the speech by Sarah Palin - or as my friend Jim and I now refer to her, Sister Sarah. She knocked it out of the ballpark so to speak. The first half of the speech was charming. Exactly what she needed to do to introduce herself and her family to the country. She looks like Tina Fey and she has similar comic timing. Good for her. Good for women. Since in 2004 we made up around 54% of the voters, it would seem that 1 in 4 of the candidates from the two party system would sit to pee. (In McCain's defense, at his age, he may have to sit to pee.)

Now, the second part of the speech was from some McCain writer and it showed. Yes, I have heard that he was in the military and yadda, yadda, yadda. I respect his service, but tell me about his future not his past. Not to mention we aren't supposed to comment on "her family issues" but they sure used them as pretty props last night) As far as I'm concerned, I think it should all be fair game. We have reached that extremely low part in journalism so let's just go all out. Maybe all the families of the four running mates participate in Jello wrestling matches. Thoughts?

Anyway, I am mature enough to recognize that McCain's people went for the one area (that I have said for over a year -- I have witnesses) that Obama was weak. Pure experience. That is why I voted for Hillary in the Primary and would have voted for her again in November if given the chance. My party became enamored with the thought of having Obama for president without fully "vetting" him.

I respect Joe Biden. Great liberal and I have to love that he is a Catholic or what I would call sensible Catholic. (Not that he is gonna get to take communion for that) And I think Sen. Biden has all the stuff to be President if need be, but Obama's people took a huge misstep and it may just cost them the election. They knew that his lack of experience would be the issue. Heck, it was the issue that Hillary used against him. Did they think McCain would just let that go? Executive Power woos people. Not sure that is the way you spell woo but go with it, okay? Obama's people were thinking they needed to balance the ticket and getting a fairly attractive clean living old white guy with lots of DC experience would do it. But it kinda goes against the "motto" they are using of McCain more of the Same. How are they changing Washington if they take Joe in tow?

But McCain, he performed a Lazarus miracle. He got people's attention and is keeping it. I truly thought the DNC was a tight program last week and flashy to a fault, but the usually boring GOP last night was on fire with Sister Sarah. An unknown mother of five that is a popular Governor, has a special needs infant, a son going to Iraq, a nephew in the gulf, a knocked up teenage daughter (with scared teenage baby daddy in hand--I bet he wishes he had worn a condom) and a pretty darn good looking husband that is half Eskimo. What the F**K? It could only be better if she was cross-eyed. And she gave one hell of a speech considering she had never in her life done anything like that in Alaska.

Now just to keep all of you on track. I am NOT voting for McCain/Palin, their party and my politics don't see eye to eye. But I give them props for doing an amazing job of pulling this campaign together and making this a convention worth watching!

Too bad Obama's people didn't think out of the box and do something of this scale. I'm still a Democrat, and I am not an Obama supporter, but I still support the planks of my party. I wonder if Hillary is sitting in her Senate office paying off her campaign debt and writing Obama a note that reads something like this.

Dear Obama,
Karma is a bitch.
Love, Hillary

BACK PAIN, DAMN GUSTAV HURRICANE, AND THE HOGS WIN!

2008-09-03T11:21:00.000-07:00

It is Wednesday, and just like any other 4 day work week, I'm screwed up. It feels like Tuesday. I spent all day saying to myself . . . It is Tuesday, because I honestly felt it was Monday. Not to mention, I'm on heavy painkilling drugs. Last Friday I hurt my back. I've never hurt my back in any way, shape, or form before so I feel like I am 82. If only I could report that it was from a new page of the Karma Sutra, but no, I was picking up dog food in Sam's Club. Damn Dog! I hurt so bad that I did not go to the first Razorback Game. Hubby and Son went and had a great time. The hogs barely won, but it is a Win! Way to go Bobby! Suck it Houston.

There is a reason that I live inland. No hurricanes or so you would think. We are being drenched by Gustav. Now it isn't so bad that we are getting the extra rain since I hate watering the yard, but hurricane leftovers. Kinda makes me feel so vulnerable and couldn't our hurricane have a better name? Gustav? Really? How about Gene, Gertrude, Gladys, or Grandma? I mean a Russian Hurricane. What is wrong with the weathermen? Anyway, I have shot a few pictures so those of you that don't believe me can see we are having a cloudy, gloomy, no-good day. Thanks Gustav!

However, You did keep W. from making a live appearance at the Republican Convention. Priceless. GWB via satellite. If only McCain's week could get more disorganized. What does it say when you can't get the President to make an appearance on your behalf but Joe Lieberman will? Please all my Republican friends(and you know who you are) TAKE JOE LIEBERMAN!!!!!

I've already called, but Happy Anniversary to Sharron and Steve. All people married on the third rule!

All these pictures are from outside my office.

5 DAYS TO GO!!!!! WHOOOOO PIG SOOOIE!!!!!

2008-08-25T07:52:00.001-07:00

The most wonderful time of the year. Razorback Football Season is the best thing ever! And this year we have a spankin brand new coach. Yes, I welcome Coach Bobby Petrino to our most wonderful tradition. . . Football.

Thanks to the most incompetent former head coach we are stuck with some of his players, including the QB. Don't even get me started. My biggest complaint of the moment is with new AD Jeff Long. He has extended playing in War Memorial for two games for 9 more years. WTF! The University of Arkansas is in Fayetteville. We have a top-notch stadium and it puts our team at a disadvantage every time we play in Little Rock. What a load of crap! Not to mention the "Boot Bowl" is never played in Fayetteville. It is always in Little Rock and I refuse to participate in that game, and I would love to see us play LSU. Thanks Jeff for selling the true HOG fans out for the money in Little Rock. Money talks and continues to talk from the center of the state.

Maybe one day before I die, the piggie schedule will only allow games in Fayetteville. We can only hope. In the meantime, I will get my Zing Zang ready and my cold beer and prepare for a great rebuilding season.

Just think . . . REAL OFFENSIVE PLAYS. GO HOGS GO!!!
and for all the real fans. . .
Hit that line! Hit that line! Keep on going,
Take that ball right down the field!
Give a cheer. Rah! Rah! Never fear. Rah! Rah!
Arkansas will never yield!
On your toes, Razorbacks, to the finish,
Carry on with all your might!
For it's A-A-A-R-K-A-N-S-A-S for Arkansas!
Fight! Fight! Fi-i-i-ght!

Back to School and Back to Blogging

2008-08-18T08:06:00.000-07:00

I took the summer off from the Blog and now summer is officially over. School started this morning and off my kiddos went with their 50 pound backpacks. I do not remember taking a fourth of the stuff to school that these kids are required to have in their desk. Mason is most excited to be back at school and to be in class with his buddies Luke and Grayson. I think their teacher is going to be wonderful. The fourth grade was my favorite year and I hope Mason has that same experience.

Madison is all about 8th grade, but I'm so worried about her. There is just so much in the 8th grade and there is so much pressure. She went to school with her ankle brace on and I felt terrible for her. She is a survivor though and I'm so very proud of her.

Both the kids played ball this past weekend. Madison played soccer in Tulsa and she took a tumble with one of the opposing players. They were playing boys and it wasn't pretty. I'm going to add some pictures of the first day of school and of Madisons grass stains from the tumble.

Have a great day and bring on the blogging!

Addi is here!

2008-06-12T13:54:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't heard, I am a Great Aunt. That makes me feel around 60 years old, however, her mother is really Tony's niece. My niece by marriage is a wonderful person and she has given birth to a beautiful baby girl. I think she is related to me somehow, because we both had big babies. Addi was 9 pounds and 14 ounces. That is just one ounce more than daughter #1. She is a cutie. I can't wait to hold her.

Camping, Fishing, and Flooding

2008-05-29T12:27:00.000-07:00

We camped over the Memorial Day Weekend. It was really wonderful to get away from the Television, Phone, and Cell Phone. Hubby and I spend 5 days there and the kids got a full 3. Our friends, Becky and Dennis did come out and bring their boat. We had a great campsite on the Lake so the kids could fish and Hubby fished and well. . . drank beer in the sunshine. We did have a few small glitches but I have blessed and released them so no need to mention. The lake is quite flooded and it was like a treasure to see what washed up on the bank. Thankfully the rubbermaid container that washed up on the shore was empty. I was scared that we were about to be a CSI episode.

So here are a few pictures from the weekend.

Our built in fishing area at our campsite.

He hates touching worms, but loves to fish. What a quandry.

Brother and Sister NOT FIGHTING.

Princess doing her impersonation of "Titanic" King of the World. Check out her ears.

Dennis and Tony "Redneck Posing."

Has to be my new screen saver!!!

2008-05-20T14:13:00.000-07:00

Finally. A New Post!!!

2008-05-20T13:48:00.000-07:00

Ok guys, I'm finally posting on the blog. It has been a month. And alot has happened!!! First, I want to add some pictures from my baby boy being the bat boy at the NWA Naturals. These are courtesy of my dear friend, Becky!!! She did a great job taking pictures of the game and of Son #1. They are all loaded on my flikr account and they can be viewed there. However, I'm putting a few pictures from that and a few from his bugeater game. So you can see we are into Baseball right now. I wish we had some Razorback baseball pictures from May 9th. It was the absolute best Razorback game (baseball) I have ever seen. We beat South Carolina in the bottom of the ninth, two outs and a freshman, Jacob House hit a grand slam. It was movie-esqe.

I will try to do a better job of posting and getting things out earlier. I am also now on Ravelry and I love it. I will put a link on the blog as soon as I can figure it out. Have a good night everyone! Here are the pictures.

A Tribute to an Aunt

2008-04-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

After a battle with cancer, my Aunt Shirley Ann passed away surrounded by her three children, her husband and one grandaughter. I know this because I was there until 10 minutes before she died.

Wednesday night after much agony with my own problems, I felt like I needed to go to visit my Aunt one last time. She lived about 2 hours from my home and I had wanted to go for months, but hadn't for various reasons. One of which had to do with my ongoing war with my parents. Hubby and I went the two hours north to find my aunt much worse than I really expected. I sat with her and told her about my children. With her daughter, Cheryl, I recounted the numerous stories and events that made her my Favorite Aunt. She couldn't speak and much to my dismay she had the rattle that I am all too familiar with in my line of work. We sat there for 45 minutes and when I started to get up she raised her arm as if she wanted me to stay. I stayed a while longer until the hospice nurse gave her liquid morphine and she drifted off to sleep.

I visited with my first cousins and hubby got to know a different side of my family. I hate it was under this circumstance. At 4:00 p.m. we decided it was time to leave and say goodbye. I walked up to her bed and took her hand and told her that I loved her and that I was going and for her to be at peace.

As hubby and I left holding hands, I told him that she wasn't going to last long maybe 24 hours or so. He agreed and we drove off in tears. Ten minutes later she went to see her Lord. I know that her heaven is surrounded by rich purple colors, diamonds and gold that shines so bright. She has a large grand piano and a pipe organ that she can play at and sing. Flowers will be fragrant and rich with color.

My memories will consist of the many crazy, loud, happy events like shopping for prom dresses, picking on my father, watching her play the piano and hold her grandchildren and my children. Her amazing laugh and how she entered a room with laughter and much sound. Always wearing purple and colors that made Ma and her siblings grimace. And my absolute favorite memory, wrapping herself in Gold Lame fabric in Misouri Mills and spinning happily around the store, while my mother stood there in horror. I however laughed because it is something that I would also do.

Be at Peace, Aunt Shirley Ann.

40 Things I Hate!

2008-04-17T14:04:00.000-07:00

1. I hate ex-husbands and their girlfriends!
2. I hate staples in Onion Soup!
3. I hate the telemarketers!
4. I hate paying taxes!
5. I hate stupid people! Especially if they make more money than me!
6. I hate obnoxious Republicans!
7. I hate obnoxious Right Wing Evangilicals!(Southern Baptists for the most part)
8. I hate the economy!
9. I hate the University of Texas!
10.I hate procrastenators!
11.I hate people that think they are leaders and the are NOT!
12.I hate the gas companies that are sucking us dry!
13.I hate scary movies and their commercials!
14.I hate that the USA can't evolve to Socialized Medicine.
15.I hate people that don't work, but whine they are too busy!
16.I hate mean old people!
17.I hate mice, rats, snakes and gross things that are probably living in my garage!
18.I hate that dying seems like the only way to get ahead in life!
19.I hate that my husband wants sex in the morning and I want sex at night!
20.I hate that I have so much hate in my life!
21.I hate my flower beds at home!
22.I hate that my in-laws will not come see us, but will go to Italy!
23.I hate fair weathered friends!
24.I hate grey!
25.I hate that my dog sheds!
26.I hate that my daughter is in middle school and I can't save her from the drama of being in middle school!
27.I hate being treated as if I don't have an opinion because I don't have a penis!
28.I hate that I make less yearly because I don't have a penis!
29.I hate that my children will grow up in dirty, dangerous world!
30.I hate that freedom of speech has outgrown what our founding fathers really meant!
31.I hate that the NRA is well . . . the NRA. Look at Virginia Tech people!
32.I hate that we judge people by material possessions! We all do it!
33.I hate that my husband hurts everyday from being the first gulf war and no one cares!
34.I hate that my parents can't accept me and my husband because he isn't my first husband!
35.I hate Rush Limbaugh!
36.I hate that cars have to get oil changes and new tires. Shouldn't that just be built in to last for 200,000 miles or so.
37.I hate lucky people!
38.I hate fighting my weight and the life long battle that it has waged on me and continues to win!
39.I hate math!
40.Okay, last but not least. I hate that the Razorback Football team plays in Little Rock!!!!!

The Northwest Arkansas Naturals

2008-04-14T08:09:00.000-07:00

Hubby and Me

The Baseball Women sans Goat

The Baseball Men sans Goat

The Arvest Ball Park Sign

I have a LYS

2008-04-06T19:02:00.000-07:00

I knew the day would come and Saturday it did! I found a really nice and welcoming group of knitters. People that didn't make me feel stupid and were helpful right here at KnitWicks! Wow! I love other places, but this felt like home and I bought some beautiful yarn at half price.

And in other Newbie Knitter news . . . I met a fellow blogger. She was there to teach a class. It was Vyvian from Knitting in a Happy Camper. I was a little star struck. She has awesome patterns and it was her blog that led me to KnitWicks. Anyway, I plan to take my knitting friends there soon. So Becky be ready.

Anyway, it was a beautiful day and there were some blessings. Hubby got his truck fixed thanks to our alpha and beta buddies, Dennis and Becky. We owe them so much and they are a true blessing from God. I went to mass tonight and it was Latin night. Interesting. And I made a great dinner. Hubby and I ate by candlelight and listened to jazz music. Now, everyone say it with me mmmmmmmolivegardenmmmmmmm.

The April Fool's Joke That Backfired

2008-04-02T09:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, Most of you (I thought) would have immediately guessed that yesterday's post was an April Fool's joke. I was wrong. Real Wrong. I really did this just to try to get my husband's mind on something outside the crisis at hand. Anyway, he bought the entire pregnancy thing hook, line and sinker. When I got home he was drinking wine and smiling ear to ear. He was like the cat that swallowed the canary. And the worst part, he almost told the kids. Instead he called his neice in California and had her look at the blog and that began the phone calls on that end. So the California family bought into it and were waiting for us to call them after the announcement at the potluck.
After some time when I saw that he was so excited and nervous and talking about what furniture we would have to get rid of for the nursery. Then hugging me and crying and just saying this was such a blessing from God and on and on and on. I knew that I had to give and couldn't wait until we got to the potluck. So I held him close and said April Fools in his ear.
I really thought he might get mad, but he didn't. He laughed and was amazed that he fell for it so seriously. He actually was disappointed. His greatest compliment was that no one had ever pulled a joke on him that he had really taken seriously like this. He gave me kuddos. Then he waited to tell me at the potluck that he had called Kelli, his neice, in CA. OMG!!!!! I knew then that it had gone too far. He started calling relatives, and they were none to happy. I ended up calling my sister in law and my mother in law and eating crow. I apologized, because in a million years I would never have guessed that he would have called the family in California. Now, my mother in law did say that Kelli did recognize that it was April 1st and could have been a joke.
Anyway, this will be my LAST April Fool's joke for a few years. I'm done. Secondly, I'm a little scared of all the Italians that I have upset in this ordeal, so if I mysteriously disappear in the next few months . . . notify the police. Think Sopranos.

Big News!

2008-04-01T14:39:00.000-07:00

Finally, after months and months and numerous positions and temperatures. We are pregnant with our first child. I haven't told Anthony, yet. However, I am announcing it at our Why Catholic potluck dinner tonight. I will keep all of you posted.

They think they are Studs

2008-03-27T15:06:00.001-07:00

They think they are Studs
Originally uploaded by Four Piggy Fans

Just had to add this picture. They really think they are studs.

Easter 2008

2008-03-27T15:02:00.001-07:00

DSCN1862
Originally uploaded by Four Piggy Fans

Well, how do you keep your 9 year old son's shirt tucked in? I have yet to learn that trick as a mother. I just wanted to add a quick picture about Easter. I am counting our blessings as we face this month. I am blessed with the following:
1. A healthy family
2. A loving husband and loving children
3. Great friends
4. A wonderful Church Family
5. A paying job
6. A home with food on the table
7. A non-hyper dog
8. A family that loves the Razorbacks
9. A love of knitting and a large stash of yarn yet to be destroyed
10. A God that listens to me and sends me signs to get through this time!!!
What are your blessings?

Everybody's Working for the Weekend!

2008-03-07T15:02:00.001-08:00

I just had to do it. A Loverboy reference or 80's reference. It is Friday, Thank You Lord! The kiddo's have had a hectic week, and we survived gaining a teenager. Yes, Daughter #1 turned 13. She is awesome and despite all the sympathy that I have been shown by other Moms, I kinda like her better now than ever. Aside from the on-going dirty room battle and fighting about her clothes, we get along great. We had 3 of her friends over Saturday night and there was no fighting or tearing up the house. They were just great kids. I know there will be much friction ahead, but for now she seems so comfortable being herself that I cannot complain. I hope to post some pictures from her party for all to see their bright shinning faces.

My favorite part of the night is watching the four of them eating Nestle Toll House Cookie Dough. I bought it at the store and just sliced it open and gave them four forks and let them go at it. They were smiling ear to ear. Now, it wasn't a healthy moment but it was a great birthday moment.

Tonight, Tony and I are off to the 4th Sunday of Lent Fish Fry at church. Here is a picture from last Sunday's Knights of Columbus presentation at church. They gave the church a wheel chair and some walkers for the parishoners. Here is the picture of them with Father John.

Have a good weekend everyone and I hope to update more on Monday.

Way to far behind to catch up in one posting!

2008-03-03T14:43:00.001-08:00

Yes, the title says it all. I will attempt to get everything in this week, but it may not happen. There is alot and there is no way that I can tackle it in Chronological Order. So I'm going to start from the present and work my way backwords. This past weekend, we celebrated Daughter #1's 13th Birthday with a slumber party. I really can't complain, because these girls were perfect. I'm so honest when I say that it couldn't have gone better. Mall, Movie, Pizza and Cookie Dough and they were happy as larks. What great girls. I know mine is wonderful and she has done a great job picking great friends. I'll have few pictures added later.

Last Friday, Son #1 had the Wax Museum at his elementary school. It was just one of the best things I've see the public schools do in a while. Each child had to research a figure from history and be that person in wax museum form. They memorized an index card of information that the would recite when you pushed the button (green sticker) on their hand. My son was Sidney Poitier. Here is a great picture of him dressed as Sidney. Hubby and I enjoyed the whole program, and it only lasted 30 minutes. Just walk around and hear each child talk about history. It was great. More tomorrow and Pictures, too.

It's been a Week/Wreck!

2008-02-13T14:23:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it has been a week since I last blogged. I guess I was living off of the excitement of Super Tuesday and Mardi Gras last week coupled with Ash Wednesday and all the horrible tornadoes that came through our Natural State last week. Well to start with Tuesday, Hillary is having quite a time keeping up with the OBamas. So for now, I will skip my opinions on that issue. Then Mardi Gras was a great ball of fun with our friends from church and going to a casino that shall remain nameless for now. I did come out ahead! Yeah! I, being the practical one of our marriage, used it to pay our house gas bill and some other small things. We did have a last minute swing through Crystal Burger before midnight to take care of all chocolate cravings before Ash Wednesday. It was a good time.

As for lent, I gave up cursing. Yes, don't fall over. As of today, I have cursed 16 times which my hubby (aka cradle catholic) claims costs me 16 Hail Mary's and 16 dollars to the church. Today there has not been any slip ups. So I guess there is progress. (Hey, those of you laughing should know that I went to the Hog game on Saturday and I did not curse once.) I think that is worth some jewels in my crown in heaven.

Poor Arkansas. We have suffered this past week. So many people are homeless from this horrible storm. My nurse friend, Cathy, is from that area. Her sister and her sister's family lost two homes and everything they had. It is a miracle they are alive. They even lost a brand new tractor. Gone! Can you believe a wind so strong that it picks up a tractor. I kid my husband about being afraid of tornadoes, but they can destroy so much so fast. Our church took up a second collection on Sunday and I hope that many hearts were open across the state to help those in need.

On Wednesday after the fierce storm on Tuesday we had snow and ice. A man from our church was killed in weather related accident that morning. I did not know him, but many of our friends were in a bible group with him. Becky asked me to make a dessert for his funeral dinner. I happily agreed. Saturday morning wasn't so happy. I got up, I made the cake, I put it in the oven and 10 minutes later it started bubbling over the sides of the cake pan onto the bottom of the oven. BURNING! It was a disaster. I saved some of the cake and iced it, but there was no way it could go out in public. As a result, I bought desserts for a funeral dinner. Go ahead Grandma, roll over in your grave! I know that my grandmother would never forgive me for buying something to take to church. Thankfully, she is happily singing with the angels in heaven - so i'm sure these trivial things aren't bothering her.

The cake did have a future destination. It became Dennis' birthday cake on Sunday!!! It is an ugly cake, but it tasted oh so good. Here is pic of Dinnis with his cake. Happy Birthday! You look great for 50 and to have such a young wife at your age.

Get Out and Vote!

2008-02-05T09:07:00.000-08:00

Need I say more. Vote Today in Arkansas. I went early this morning and I was thrilled to see a line to get in the place. I have my flag pin on and I brought my Fulbright framed campaign poster with me to work. It was my Grandparents and I love it.

I encourage all of you to Vote no matter your party. Just in case you wondered, I voted for Clinton. Anything to get Bill closer to the White House. No really, I think she is the only one that is qualified on the party ticket right now.

Have a good day all and God Bless our Free Country.

The weather outside is frieghtful, but the fire is so . . .

2008-02-01T06:45:00.000-08:00

It has been a cold couple of days. As predicted we got some of the winter storm that plagued most of the central US, but as I predicted we wouldn't get the 6-8 inches the weatherman said we would. A little disappointing but it is still pretty. This is a shot this morning from outside my office. I think there is around an inch or more of snow, however, the side roads have plenty of ice that kept the schools closed today. My knight in shining armour did bring me to work at 7:00 a.m. to keep me safe.

Too bad we didn't get a blizzard like I had hoped for. I love a good snow day and well I couldn't justify not coming to work. Here are a few other pictures from around the office. We have hundreds of squirrls here and this was one that was looking for something to eat this morning. I just had to get a picture of him because he was so cute. They aren't always so cute, don't be fooled they are mean little creatures when they want to be.

The trees looked like perfect Christmas trees and on the way to work Anthony and I both thought they had a certain flocking to them that was picturisque. I thought he would enjoy seeing a picture of one. He claims that his mother always had a flocked Christmas Tree - so this picture is for you.

Now for the knitting. I'm in over my head!!!! The baby blanket that I am determined to do and look cool and awesome is hard!!! I have size 13 Addi circular needles (that cost a small fortune at Handheld Knitting) holding these two skeins of yarn together and it is heavy and my left hand hurts. Yes, pass the cheese to go with that whine. I'm using some Hobby Lobby yarn "Yarn Bee" Airy in hot pink and lime. It really gives it a great effect just knitting 60 stitches back and forth. I don't think it is going to be a real big blanket, but it is thick and it would be great to use on trips, etc. I'm kinda impressed by how pretty the two colors look together.

In more productive news, I finished a scarf and gave it to a friend, Carol, at work. I like giving away handmade gifts, and I like receiving them. There is a certain homey charm and warmth to the gift that is personally made. I was on vacation during her birthday in Dec. so this was a late B-Day present. She is also an avid Razorback fan - football, basketball and baseball. This scarf was made with Hobby Lobby's "Yarn Bee" grotto. I think it is a cutie. Tonight it will be back to the blanket. Have a good Friday.

By the way, we all have those ugly green t-shirts on for our Boss. Today he is 60. I really don't think he is happy about it. Which makes it so much better. After today, this shirt will either be Son #1's new sleep shirt or a new dusting rag. Decisions Decisions.

It's Tuesday and I can't seem to see the end of the tunnel.

2008-01-29T08:07:00.000-08:00

I prayed the rosary all the way to work. I do find it funny that I have a Rosary CD from the Mary Foundation that I got in SF in 2005 and it perfectly fits the 17 minute ride to work. Who knew that God could work that out for me? I'm nervous today and I don't really know why. There is strong part of me that hopes that our blessed mother can pray extra for me today. I'm feeling completely out of control with job, money, family, kids etc. Anthony has brought me into the Catholic faith, but the church is growing my faith daily. God knew this was the right place for me. Just wish I had taken a little more of a direct path.
Thankfully, one big material stress reliever is my knitting. I hit a knitting jackpot yesterday at Hobby Lobby. They are always having discounts on yarn, but this week there was some extra goodies. I picked up some pink, green and blue for the many, many, many, babies that are on the way. Kelli, our niece in CA, is having a girl. Alisa, my estranged sister in Hong Kong is adopting a girl from China (she is 9 months old) Anthony refers to her as Wang Chung. I think they are naming her Isabelle. Who knows? Then our hairstylist Kelli is pregnant, but we don't know the sex. Friends from our soccer club are adopting a baby girl from Texas and that is being finalized this week. So babies are abundant and that is a beautiful blessing that keeps me smiling on days like these.
There are times that I wish Anthony and I could go through that process together, but alas, the odds are stacked against that possibility. Such an ordeal would probably be the catalyst for my parents to take a hit out on the two of us. Why they hate us so much now, I will never understand. If any parents are reading this, I beg of you to stand by your children in their darkest hours. Children of any age need to be loved and have thier parents. The only justification for their hate is my divorce. No drugs, no prison, no theft, no laziness. I got my BA, I have held a job, I have raised two amazing children. I don't get it. Will they ever break through this hate? I'm beginning to believe the answer is no. They hate me for getting a divorce and they hate me for Anthony and they will hate me even more for becoming a Catholic. It is a lose lose situation. I have lost the loved ones that make up my past and they have lost knowing my future. What a horrible situation for a once loving supportive family to end.
So I guess my greatest baby gift I can give to all of those that I am knitting for is to look at my sorrow and grief and never bestow that on your children. Do not be unforgiving of your children, but love them unconditionally.

2008-01-24T14:02:00.000-08:00

It is really really really cold here. Thankfully the sun is shining. For those of you that drive I-540 tomorrow is suppossed to be tons of fun with a winter mix. Whooopie! An update on Brey, he is holding his own, as of yesterday. The antibiotics are working. Keep praying for his healing. I special thanks to my RCIA class and fellow parishoners at St. Rapaels. It is such a feeling of community to know that others will pray for complete strangers.

Many of you know that we traveled to Dallas for the Cotton Bowl and I have a terrible time with these pictures. I am going to try to load them in this posting today. So enjoy and stay warm.

Basketball and Soccer

2008-01-22T08:09:00.000-08:00

In yesterday's post, I said that we were consumed with worry about our friend, Brey. The weekend did, however, have some bright spots here for our kiddos. Son #1 had his first basketball game for the season and they won. Yeah! They don't keep score, but the parents do. Here a few pictures from that. The boys seemed to have a great time!

Later that night, daughter #1 had back to back indoor soccer games. I thought she played great. She did elbow a couple of people, but she ended up with three goals in the two games. I haven't seen her move that well in a game since we left her old soccer club. Here a few pictures from those two games. Anyway, please indulge a bragging mothter. Oh and by the way, in soccer, they do keep score. The way it should be.

Pray for Brey

2008-01-20T22:15:00.000-08:00

It has been a weekend of ups and downs for our family. We have enjoyed friends and family, but we have been constantly thinking of our dear friends fighting to save their little boy. Brey Montgomery is in LR at Arkansas Children's Hospital and he has been fighting the horrible MRSA staff. He is in ICU and he is surrounded by the best doctors and nurses in the country. Thanks to Shannon and Travis, I was able to visit with the Montgomery family on Sunday afternoon. I am humbled by the strength that Connie and Greg have and I know that we all need to continue to pray for Brey as he fights this horrible virus. Pray for clean blood and clean air.

Knitting for a Baby Girl!

2008-01-17T09:30:00.000-08:00

It's official! Kelli, my niece in California, is having a girl. Tony and I will be Great Uncle and Great Aunt. How exciting. All the women in the family are jumping with joy because the shopping legacy will continue. My sister in law and mother in law are legendary shoppers. I really don't hold a candle to them. All the baby talk has my knitting booties. These are Beth's Easy Booties from Bev's Country Cottage website. I used this pink freebie yarn I had to give the pattern a try. I like it and I have already made one white bootie with Mission Falls 1824 Frost. It is so very soft and it is beautiful to work with. I think I'll be making many sets of booties with this yarn and spending time picking it up at Handheld Knitting.
In other news, it is freezing cold today and it was a wild ride to work. There were over 8 wrecks on the Freeway. Almost like living in a metro area. Makes the hubby miss CA.

2008-01-09T15:11:00.000-08:00

Now here is the pic I wrote about in the first post. I didn't get the memo to wear all black so I'm stuck in the that nasty burgandy / red vest thing. It was comfortable for the day, but OMG! I need the Queer Guys from Bravo to come and throw it out. Thankfully most people I work with have macular degeneration and really can't see how hideous it looks. Queen B and Faux Ex look fine as always.

2008-01-09T15:08:00.000-08:00

Please remember that I am new to this Posting business. I just learned how to add pics to the actual post. Still not smarter than a 5th grader, but working on it. So here is the so very soft cotton yarn for my future Great Niece or Nephew in CA. I really want to knit myself something out of it because it is that soft.

Feels like Monday all over again.

2008-01-09T14:54:00.000-08:00

I'm back at work today and it is kicking my butt. Little did I know that this flu like illness would make me so tired. It has been a slow day and I am thankful for that, however, busy days make more money. I didn't get to my knitting last night so here is what I have from this past Sunday. I went to Hand Held Knitting in Fayetteville and picked up so ADDI needles for a baby blanket and this cotton yarn for some more booties. I can already tell that I am becoming a yarn snob, if it isn't soft or easy to deal with then I'm done with it. Today was a special day for some of my old Foundation buddies and I am posting this picture without their knowledge. Queen Barbara is no longer the Prez of the Foundation and they honored her today at their monthly meeting. I think it is a great pic of her and my faux ex husband. The pic of me reminds me of that I must stick to my New Year's Diet.

It's a sick day for all of us!

2008-01-08T14:16:00.000-08:00

I'm under the weather today and my hubby is too. We are suffering from different forms of the flu. Fortunately we survived all the Arkansas tonados last night. By noon, I was feeling better, and I hope to start knitting by early evening. I have one set of pink booties finished and I'm half way through the white cotton pair. Pictures to be added tomorrow.
Just a quick note about the LSU game. The SEC rules!

2008-01-07T09:56:00.000-08:00

I finally broke down and entered the blog world. I've been talking about it over a year now, and more than ever I think I need this to rant about the HOGS and of course the knitting obsession. Family, Dog, politics, religion thrown in between. So enjoy or comment. Be nice. I'm a little on the nervous side of all this change. Happy Monday.