Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Lost and Sad
I've never been in this place before. There is no place that is whole. My body and my heart are torn to different parts of this world. Never peace never secure never completely whole. Where are the arms that are suppossed to hold me and keep me safe? Did I just fantasize that those arms and that man would be different? Why isn't my life different? Why did God make this my path? Will I ever know that answer?
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I can't give u the answers. We can guide our lives to a certain path. It is our choice to remain on that path. You chose to let your children lead you to a path they wanted instead of staying on the path that we were on. So do you choose to let your children lead you or do you take back your own destiny? If you decide to join me again so we can be in control of our own lives again. I can't let the children control my life and destiny. I am an adult, I have done a lot for them and they did not respect or apprieciate what I did. Teenager or child I don't have to put up with that. I didn't have to do a lot of things I did, and all they wanted was more, with no boundries. AS they said I am not thier father so I don't have to do anything for them or with them, and they shouldn't expect anything from me anymore, or at least until they can respect and appreciate me and what I do/did for them. That is why we are on the paths we are on. If you chose you can explain to them how wrong they were to either accept what I did for them and not apprieciate it or respect me for doing something I didn't have to do. If you choose you can explain to the kids that a each member of a family has to learn to sacrafice things for other members of the family, with no complaints. If you choose you can demand from the kids that they don't have to like me but they better show me respect, if not there will be consequences. But all these things are your choice, I guess this is a Y or X on our paths. We either share the same one or we continue on 2 different paths leading away from each other. I don't want you to make the kids fear me like you did before.
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